Killin' Da Spongebob

So, I can't sleep. I went to bed at 9:30, with great intentions and just couldn't quite get there-now I'm like "8:30 a.m. Chattz run" kind of awake. I blame myself, more specifically the trifecta of my boredom, stupid ideas and freakish inferno of a metabolism. If I do one stitch of aerobic exercise, I'm a furnace for 24 straight hours. Unfortunately for me, 30 minutes of pop culture mental masturbation (yeah, I said it) is now a burning ember in the middle of the night. Here's what happened...

So, Ben showed me a silly video of a kid on "YouTube" (in case you're interested its here, watch it about three times-trust me). We watched about10 minutes of stupid kid videos until I hit the goldmine, which would be kids doing "da Spongebob". The Spongebob is #1-well past its prime, #2-is a gimmicky song/dance combo, and #3-freakishly simliar to Michael Flatly's signature Riverdance, so obviously it screams "Lori". After two viewings of da Spongebob, I'm obsessed-I feel I have the talent to be a natural. As usual, I wear Ben out after two minutes. So I voraciously watch all of the "do da Spongebob" videos that YouTube will supply me with-including 7 year olds, Moms, white girls and a very helpful instructional video. It took me a good ten minutes to actually pick up the footwork (its deceptively complex) and then I Spongebob'ed in the living room while taunting "Yeah, who's killin' da Spongebob, Ben?" for about 2 minutes before I was sweating like a piglet. The Spongebob craze was up and down in less than 20 minutes. Cut to 4 hours later-1 a.m., where I'm sitting on my couch, stuffing Cheez Nips in my mouth, in a perverbial Spongebob hangover.