New Year's Resolutions

New Year's Resolutions are my favorite thing in life. I love lists. I am a searcher. I love to document things. I love fruitless, hopeful plans. It's delicious. And I really do look back and see what I've accomplished and most of the time, I do pretty well. Except the year I decided I'd start running, but I didn't count that resolution because I only added it because it seemed like the thing to do and I didn't mean it in my heart of hearts. Especially after I started doing it.
Oh, and I also categorize my Resolutions: "Things to Do", "Clothes", "Work", "House", "Me", "Friends", "Annoying Things to Stop Doing". In anticipation of spending 7 months of 2009 school-free, I really want to up the "Things To Do" list.
To Do 2009 (A Partial List):
1. Hang-glide on (really off) Lookout Mountain (tandem, still scary: http://www.hangglide.com/ )
2. Learn conversational German terms so I don't make a fool of myself if/when we go to Germany like I did in Costa Rica. ("Gracias! Gracias! Um...cerveza, por favor? Gracias!" Idiot.)
3. Go to a yoga workshop. Really, I want to be able to stand on my head, levitate and fold myself up into a ball small enough to fit in my yoga bag in 2009. Like a Pokemon. Or a Popple.
4. Attend the Storytelling Festival workshop. I want to be a professional storyteller as my side gig. Its possibly the least glamorous/most dorky art form but I don't care. When people comment on my overuse of non-standard hand motions in normal conversation, I can smugly reply "Well, I'm a professional storyteller. Its an occupational hazard."
5. Read the last 10 Pultizer Prize Winning Novels. I decided a long time ago that I was going to read all of the PPWN's ever (ambitious, not even considering they add another every year unless all American writers suck like in 1971, 1974 and 1977 where they decided no one deserved it. I wonder if they were punishing the creative community for putting up with disco?)
So, first, I started with 1980 ("Executioner's Song") and got through 1984 ("Ironweed"...zzzzzz...). (Editors Note: I went on and on about what books were good and which sucked, with a tangent about Tom Wolfe and a mention of John Irving, then I deleted it all to spare you. You're welcome. Also, is it grammatically correct to have to paranethical expressions next to each other? Well, eff it, everyone's skipped to #6 anyway.) And just a side note, I keep a Google spreadsheet with my progress (Side side note: Yes, I am a nerd. Think about the things you're passionate and OCD about, I bet they're equally nerdy if not worse. And I'm proactively addressing the issue, so you're obligated to not make fun to my face) and according to it, I have read 13.75 of them (13 whole ones, currently finished half of "Empire Falls" and 1/4 of Ironweed, which I consider a success), I Own 7 and have 75 untouched.
6. Talk less about books.
7. Enter a short-story contest. I was really embarrassed to make the leap from writing secretly to writing a blog. The jump from blog-writing to entering a contest is even more anxiety-ridden for me. I've made excuses for years, even after much badgering from my husband. So, we'll see.
8. Learn to play the guitar. I can read music, we actually own a guitar and my fingers are like E.T. so I think I'll be a natural. I really just want to do this so I can add an extra kick when I make up silly songs (mostly about our cat) to make Ben laugh. Sometimes they're funny, sometimes I have to add a little muppet-style dance to elicit a giggle. Although, usually I find myself infinitely more funny than Ben does and it takes me several tries to get through a verse because I'm giggling so hard. I love myself. My latest "hit" was to the tune of "Whatever You Like" by T.I. and the subject matter was largely about the places my cat likes to find water to drink. Spoiler alert: none of them are located in her bowl.